(note: Writing helps so much. Like, it’s kind of ridiculous. The closure I just achieved, in the 45 minutes I spent writing this, is unreal. Pro-tip: Write about your emotions, it puts things in perspective. Okay, read on.)
I haven’t found any inspiration to write anything because there are just so many thoughts bouncing around in my head in this past week that I can’t even begin to fathom it into words. So much is happening right now or is about to happen soon, and it’s all very bittersweet.
I find myself extremely excited for this summer, but then I realize that I have less than three weeks left with these dorks. Some of them leave for college while I’m away. Some, I’ll just have a week left with them once I come home.
I don’t actually think I’m sad about the thought of them leaving. I’m more excited than anything; I’m so proud of them for coming this far, and I can’t wait to see all of the crazy amazing things that they will accomplish in the future. I guess I’m more upset about the fact that nothing will be the same once 12:37 on June 4th hits. That’s the last bell of their senior year. Friendships that don’t exist outside of school will dissipate. Once that bell rings, they’re done, and they’ll never have another day of high school ever again; we’ll never have another day of school with them.
Like one of my best friends said, it’s mainly the little things that I’ll miss. I’ll miss dancing with Ethan during Leadership events, I’ll miss driving around town with Carly, I’ll miss giving Brandon hugs, I’ll miss the entirety of my AP Calculus BC class and struggling through math with them.
They just won’t be a part of our every day lives anymore, and that’s kind of heartbreaking. The idea of high school without them is so foreign; they’ve been here all 3 years that us Juniors have been here, and without them– I have no idea how high school will even be a thing. It’s just hard to look at some of these people and know the friendship you guys had in high school will definitely fade away. And that’s just the reality of it.
I apologize for the cynicism, I know that I’m just sort of helpless in this whole scope of life right now, so all I can do is be excited for them and accepting of the situation. I am beyond thankful for all of these people and for the impact that they’ve had on me thus far. Though this past year has been chock full of “last”s (last homecoming, last basketball game, last rally, etc.), this next year will be so full of “first”s, and I cannot be any more excited for them than I am right now.
They’re building a whole new life there! A new identity! Making new friends and relationships in a new place! A huge chapter of life is on its concluding pages, and a whole new story arc is about to begin; that is all the reason in the world to celebrate.
It’s so weird how much life we’ve lived in such a short amount of time. Gosh, I love high school.
Best of luck out there, you crazy kids. May you live your life wholeheartedly and never turn back.