16

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16, 17, Musings, Personal

*side note: i taught my family how to count in binary on your hands early that day, and so my mom put 17 in binary on my cake (10001) (i love my family)

JOURNAL ENTRY:

23:38 December 26th

It’s almost my birthday!! I am almost 17!!

I just got back from dropping off my friend’s christmas present at her house; I am happy that got to spend the last couple hours of my 16th year of life working on late christmas presents for my friends

16 has been super crazy!

16 has treated me very well. it’s nice being born at the end of the year, because when you reflect on your whole year, you reflect upon your past year of life as well. it’s like new years and your birthday combined! that must be why i love the holidays. between christmas, my birthday, and new years’ eve; i have plenty of time to reflect and think and be grateful for my life as i know it. i am very grateful, very very grateful. 

this time last year, i remember being sad about a lot. like, i never really hang out with everyone, and last year i used to not be very comfortable being at home all the time. plus i thought my friends didn’t care about me very much, i literally lied on the ground and wrote and listened to angsty sad music until mom walked in with some homemade fudge and made things a lot better. then later that day, i cried a little, because all of my friends were ignoring me, but then when i got home that night, a surprise party was waiting for me, which was very the best!! (so my friends aren’t awful, after all) i am so lucky to have such a lovely sphere of family and friends. i guess what i’m trying to say is that 16 taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin and how to feel the love of those around me- and give that constant love back in return. 

thank you, 16! you have made me so incredibly happy! I am so thankful for the lessons you taught me, experiences you presented to me and for how absolutely kind you have been to me! 14 was so rough, 15 was fun however nothing too big happened, but 16 was insanity.

i only have 10 minutes left in your wonder, so i don’t want to write about 17 yet. 16, you gave me college, several incredible trips out of town, some amazing new friends, and a whole new view on life and the world

9 minutes now, oh dear, i’m tearing up a little bit. I am actually sad to be leaving you. you have been so good to me. after reading the little prince last night, i am suddenly very bad at goodbyes. i know something absolutely incredible is waiting for me, but i am sad to see you go.

 8 minutes now, i should probably make myself look a bit presentable, if mom and dad surprise me with something at midnight

7 minutes,  i don’t know why i’m nervous. maybe just excited for what 17 brings me. gosh. 16, you were so awesome. i cannot thank you enough for what you’ve taught me

6 minutes, 16, you taught me how to love the air i breathe and how to love the warmth of the sun on my skin. i have never been so filled with wonder, so constantly, until this year. i now have this ceaseless appreciation for everything around me. it’s hard to stop smiling nowadays, and you taught me that, 16. 

5 minutes, you taught me how to breathe easily and how to take life in stride and how to see the light radiating through everything and everyone

4 minutes, you have given me so much

3 minutes, i love you lots and lots, i’m happy to have met you. i know i’ll never see 16 again, you only get to see it once in your whole life, but i hope to never forget you

2 minutes, i am really trying to soak it in now, it’s been too lovely to just let it pass without the gravity it deserves.

1 minute, some people hate birthdays. i used to, though i never admitted it. like it’s just one step closer to our inevitable oblivion, (dark, i know). but now i think it really is a celebration. thanking the year that has passed for everything that has happened, for all of the growing that has happened. for being alive and breathing for another 12 months, though time is arbitrary.

almost here!!

0:00 i like birthdays. :~)

goodbye, 16, thank you for everything. i have loved you so dearly!

 

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