Have you ever thought about the concept of living in a feeling?

I think about it often; I lately realized that I think that is what makes artists and creators so incredibly special. Storytellers can manipulate language in a way that encapsulates you into this feeling that they are trying to convey. Songwriters can capture whole spectrums of emotions into 3-8 minute songs, even if there aren’t any words in it. Films transport you to entire worlds, inspiring thought, emotion, and action if compelling enough.

This is all pretty obvious.

Anyway, I believe everything, and I mean everything has a feeling.

Have you ever gone out in the morning before the city has woken up? That silence, the fresh smell, the peace. It’s a little chilly, but mainly just relaxing. Your nose is cold, but not enough to be uncomfortable. You can smell the grass and the asphalt, and can hear the honking and acceleration of cars just outside the neighborhood. Visualize yourself there in that morning. That’s a feeling that I’m talking about! Not an emotion, really, but just a state of being that can be summed up by whatever thing/place/idea/moment that triggered it.

Sometimes, before I start my day, I try to determine what I want to feel like. Do I want to feel like Moonrise Kingdom today? Or do I want to feel like Sunday Candy by Donnie Trumpet and the Social Experiment? Or maybe like Will Darbyshire’s films on YouTube? Or maybe I simply want to feel golden. (I probably sound crazy, I have tried for years to communicate this idea, but I have a feeling it still isn’t working.)

Certain things/places/ideas/moments give you certain feelings- when that thing/place/idea/moment is brought up, analogous memories and situations and emotions rush into your head when it comes to mind, and you can’t help but enter that state of being.

I often think I would love to fall in love with somebody that makes me feel the way rainy days feel when I’m wrapped up in a quilt.

I’d like to have a family that makes me feel the way Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra makes me feel.

There are afternoons where I want to feel like mustard yellow, and evenings when I want to feel lavender.

I often want a dog that will make me feel like the feeling I get when I see bubbles floating through the air.

I like going on drives that make me feel like Lisztomania by Phoenix.

I love the daydreams that feel like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Friendships that make me feel like the feeling I get when I drink iced tea out of a mason jar or see white Christmas lights on patios on summer evenings.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Sigur Rós and Tom Rosenthal and Keaton Henson lately, and they have me feeling all sorts of feelings. Primarily seaside cliffs and rainy mornings and rosy 6PMs. Certain feelings are quite special to me, such as The Winner Is by Devotchka, Go Do by Jónsi, light seeping through windows at golden hour, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, the smell of campfires, morning fog in a forest.

I’ve longed all my life to live in this certain feeling that I can’t quite pinpoint.

And I have tried so hard to figure out how to explain this concept to people, and, even after a couple of hours of writing, I still feel like I haven’t completely communicated what I want to get across.

But I’ll keep trying.

01:47

5 replies on “Living in a Feeling”

  1. Wow! I completely understand what you’re trying to say. I don’t necessarily dream for a moment, or a situation- but rather the emotions behind that event. The courage that rushes through my veins while listening to Drops of Jupiter, or the feeling of being whole as the sun shines down on my skin- making me feel connected with the Earth and live in a moment of absolute clarity. I dread the stomach-dropping emotion that rises when I hear of tragedies yet I long for the fiery passion that rises in my gut when I spot injustice.The intense feeling of being smaller than life as you look out of the Empire State building and realize how large the world is, or of being capable of doing anything as you walk through the streets of a city where inspiration and motivation is fueled on a daily basis. You did a great job of explaining this 🙂

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    1. Oh, I’m so glad you can relate!! What you just described is exactly what I’m talking about; thank you for articulating and thank you for reading! ❤

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  2. This reminded me of a conversation I had about how even nothing is a certain feeling. But in general, I also do something motivated by the mood of a song or just imagine my life had a soundtrack 🙂

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  3. Oh my goodness yes.

    YES.

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. Personally, I like to write, play music, etc. and so often, to have a muse, i try to encapsulate a feeling. Like for example, “I want this song to sound like the scent of an evening wind, a sunset spilling through a meadow, and a blurred snapshot of a smile with the sun-kissed bronze of her hair”. Because these are feelings that you can’t quite word, that cannot be described. These are emotions and memories and goosebumps and longing glances and hidden smiles. You can’t necessarily confine them to words.

    While you personally call it “feelings” (which is very fitting), I guess i called this concept an “ambiance” or an “aura”. As if it’s a playback device and you can choose which channel you want that day. And especially I’m in love at how you chose songs that make you feel a certain way or put you in a certain mood cause that’s exactly it! When i need certain “thoughts” or inspiration, only a certain mood/feeling/ambiance can make me think that way. When I need to bright, when i want to be excited only certain songs can make my whole day seem like the sun is smiling down on me. It’s a mood, a setting, a certain type of costume you put on to capture that “feeling”.

    I’m not sure if this is what you’re getting at, but this is what I understood from your post! Especially because this is what I do all the time! It makes life extremely colorful, emotional, and it seeps into your thoughts and under your skin. You live your life ten times more satisfying because you feel everything to the tips of your fingers. And, most importantly, because you’re being exceptionally present. You’re drowning in that “feeling”.

    (this is so long omg woops)

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    1. Oh my goodness, yes! That is exactly what I am trying to communicate here!! That whole “making a feeling a muse thing” is absolutely brilliant actually and I am totally going to try that out later today because my songwriting ability has gone totally dry as of late. I love that you call it an aura or an ambiance, because I would definitely describe it as that. And the whole idea of trying to allow the /feeling/ consume you and it making you more present is nothing short of true.
      Thank you so much for sharing this, seriously, I’m so happy to hear your take on it! ❤

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