awow 5: a NEW SONG and other things

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18, college, Personal, Projects, Short and Sweet

A Week of Writing: Day 5

10:51am March 30th

Greetings, Earthlings! How are we all doing today? Drop a lil sum’n sum’n in this magic box:

From the last Say Anything:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Thank you, person, for some good ol’ Teddy. “…who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” And we all know how much I love quotes. :’)

is there such a thing as an uncomfortable/confusing equilibrium of life? because i often find myself realizing that everything is going fine— but it doesn’t *feel* right.

oh and i really like this song called For Elise by Saint Motel.

Happy spring break!! (mine is in two weeks, dangggg)

(This is a question so I am going to answer it~) Yes, I believe so. I think I know exactly what you’re talking about; where everything sort of feels like it’s all going well, but you’re not exactly sure why you’re discontent? If that’s the feeling, I know exactly how that goes. There’s also a reverse where everything is objectively up in the sh*ts, but you’re weirdly okay with it. Like this dog.

05onfire1_xp-master768-v2

Anyway, yes, I believe it’s a thing. If you’re feeling it, it’s probably a thing. If you wanna get to the bottom of it, some ~soul searching~ might do you some good. Talk it out with a friend or write about it. ~~*~*~You might learn something new about yourself~~~*~*~*

And oh my lord, For Elise is SICK. I played Für Elise in my fourth grade Talent Show. My peak. Also saintmotelevision is a stellar album. Thank u. Good luck with school, and enjoy Spring Break when it arrives ❤

IM FEELING A BIT BLUE MYSELF jk much love from the east coast i have forgotten what the cold feels like and i miss u much but can’t wait to see u in spring q have a fun break ❤ xoxo amanda

This is my friend from school. I love u, Mandy xoxoxoxoxo see u soon ❤


Anyway,

I am eating my 6th piece of pizza in the last 12 hours. The dining halls are closed on campus and I’m really not trying to pay for my meals, and our Resident Fellows told us they’re bringing pizza at 8:30 pm last night, so I just ate fruit and trail mix all day to get myself to 8:30. Finagling Free Food 101. And now I have breakfast/lunch for today. Then I’ll be home for dinner, so basically…. I’ve won. I’m picking my brother and his girlfriend up from SFO in a few hours, and, in the meantime, I will be furiously cleaning my room so that it will be spick and span when I come back for ***SPRiNG qUaRTEr***

Sorority rush, a cabaret, 70-degree weather, 15 units plus Fridays off. It’ll be a good time. You’ll be there for all of it.

And, last but not least, I recorded and posted one of my old songs last night! I wrote it almost a year ago, like 9 or 10 months ago, I believe? It’s called Where The Flowers Come and Stay, and it was the first song I wrote successfully on guitar without feeling dumb about it. Listen here:

It’s a pretty literal song so I won’t tell you what it’s about, but I would like to just throw in a note on why I don’t necessarily talk about Love on this blog. 

Love is hard. What people don’t tell you is that love is, like, 85% circumstance/timing?? I’m pretty sure How I Met Your Mother does a great job of talking about this, but I never actually internalised the concept until I got to college when ~these great guys have come into my life~ but there’s always just something that pretty much blows it.

I sort of developed this unspoken rule I wouldn’t write about my love life on here. I’m not sure how it came about, but maybe it’s because 1) there are real people on the other side of these things, 2) I am still trying to figure it out for myself and it’s a very weird, convoluted, nuanced, and beautiful beast, and 3) I think about it enough every day that I don’t need to write about it to process it.

However, from time to time, I will shed light on ?how it’s going? (I guess) since it’s a pretty huge part of growing up (unless you’re aromantic/asexual/just not into all that, which is 1000% wonderful as well) and it is something that is very, very important to me. It’s interesting because I never have an urge to write about it in this sort of space because I usually just talk about it very explicitly to my friends or just make art about it. Exploring my identity and processing my emotions in front of you all is easy since I can talk about it so candidly and I can take full ownership of those experiences. Romantic Love, on the other hand, to me has not entered my comfort zone when it comes to “just writing about it, and putting it on the internet,” primarily because it’s a two-way street and I don’t want to make someone uncomfortable if I write about them. Also, I have yet to figure out a way to frame it so that it’s not so narrow in its approach. It’s easy to rant about boys, but that wouldn’t be the most productive thing, now would it?

But who knows? Maybe I’ll venture into that territory sometime in the near future. Maybe I won’t. I have 8 years of left on 16til26, so we’ll see if I get there by 22. In the meantime, I have a luggage to pack and a room to clean.

Happy Thursday!

Izzy

 

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