20h26 8 juillet 2018
hi! only a couple hours left for me to write this blog post before the end of week 2 to achieve at least one of my weekly goals. i’m turning through a pretty hefty book right now, and was also faced with major demotivation and fatigue, so nothing’s really happened.
i realized that all of the goals i had are all things i am well acquainted with: binge writing music, going to the gym and lifting everyday, binge reading books all day, journaling, etc.. i realized that nothing was encouraging me to do any of it, other than this idea that i could maybe get to the same state of being and control that i possessed when i was younger and super excitable about life in general. it’s no question that i have simply felt exhausted (emotionally or spiritually) these past few months, so it makes sense that i haven’t been able to rouse myself enough to get out of bed and do something, anything.
so, basically, i started trying new things. these are things that i have never done before, things that are still new and exciting to me, and things that, most importantly, i have no expectations of myself to fall short of. it’s easy to stop weightlifting because you can’t squat 185 like you used to. it’s easy to get frustrated because you used to be able to crank out songs everyday. it’s easy to get lazy when you’re journaling because you feel like you have nothing interesting to say. but when there is no past-me to compare myself to, and when i engage myself in something that i have never even touched before, i suddenly have this newfound energy and inspiration to just dig in and go for it.
- i’ve started planning my first trip. i’m going to be traveling alone for the first time this september, so i am doing all of my research— finding flights, getting international insurance, coordinating schedules with people, etc. all by myself.
- i’ve started trying out music production, which is just a further extension to song writing, so hopefully i can tap into something new, creatively, that can spark something special.
- i’ve also started more intensely dedicating myself to learning french. i now try to primarily watch shows, movies, and youtube videos in french. i bullet journal and write in my personal journal purely in french. i also created a new instagram, that i will primarily use this summer and fall, where i will only write and interact with followers in french. i’ve also joined a french/english language exchange facebook group and am hoping to find a language partner that i can speak to regularly so that i can help with their english and they can help with my french.
(i am particularly excited about the last one because it bleeds into my everyday life so seamlessly and i’m actually starting to see results)
i am also going to try to find a way to spice up exercising— maybe with group classes at the gym or picking up a new hobby— so that I can revive my motivation to get moving, too.
So, yeah. Things are going okay. This past week was somewhat of a wake-up call because I quite literally did nothing except programming for my dorm and watch videos on the internet— which is great! But still, I think it’s time to get out of my room during the day, get to bed early, wake up in the morning, and start going for it.
If things aren’t working, do everything in your power to change it. Educate yourself, change your perspective, go outside of your comfort zone, give yourself new objectives— whatever.
Things I’m grateful for from Week 2:
- Hung out with Brenna and bought her some cutie tupperware.
- Went to San Francisco with my brother for a protest.
- Set all these new goals for myself and started taking more initiative regarding the things I want.
- Got brunch with Kyle after not seeing him for 100000 years.
- Wind on a hot day.
- Squishy stuffed animals.
- My co-staff.
- My boyfriend.
- Being so close with my brother.
- Bert’s band, Dream Without Sleep’s, album release show!
- Meeting new people.
- Glen, my Uber driver.
- Pastel markers and fine tip ballpoint pens.
- Cold, cloudy mornings in the summer.
- Sitting outside Coupa with Sophia (my cousin) and Sophia (my brother’s girlfriend) and talking about everything!
- How small the world can be in the best way.
À la semaine prochaine,
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