hello i hope you’re doing well!!!
i’m genuinely so happy?? with how my first vlog turned out??? it took me by surprise!
on friday, when i woke up with the familiar anxiety that the day would just be… a day…. i decided to vlog and really talk through everything that was on my mind (anxieties, frustrations, exciting things, etc.) as i floated through my day (which, honestly, was 5x more eventful than 99% of my other days)
throughout the process– from starting to film, to kind of having a breakdown in the middle of the day and almost giving up on filming, to editing it nonstop all weekend– i feel like i rediscovered the main reason why i loved writing and love sharing online~
while for a while i felt like i was maybe painting my life a bit disingenuously rosy and beautiful, i also realize the act shapes the way that i frame my reality, attitude, outlook, mindset, etc.. it’s beautiful because i make it beautiful, i can choose to honor and remember the ups and reframe the downs. i can choose that. i’ve always chosen that.
so, having the opportunity to immerse myself in that act for an entire day, and craft this video (whilst learning SO much about premiere pro and developing a workflow on it) gave me a kind of giddiness and joy that i haven’t felt in SO long.
i had filmed a whole other video on tuesday, edited it, and then scrapped it, and decided to try again friday morning and i basically spent the weekend sucked into the process, and it’s been so cathartic and fun and freeing.
in editing this video, i got to play a lot more with syncing cuts to music, color grading, graphics, text, and just getting to physicalize this whole internal life (that’s a lot more vibrant than i thought) that i’ve created in my room, keeping to myself for the past 8 months.
i’m so excited to give you all more videos and to share my ordinary days while thinking out loud some more… even if the days have all felt the same since march, externally, i know that every day can feel really full and busy and even exhausting when it comes to whatever shit is rattling around inside my brain. i want to honor my internal growth, and i want to connect with others again, and this is the best way that i know how.
please do,,, like and subscribe and leave a comment and just say hi if you would like ❤ i’m so grateful for how well received this project has been thus far (it’s only been a week!) and it’s returning so much joy to my life.
i’ll see you sometime next week with another video ❤
i love you so much!
stay safe and healthy-