through the night by iu (cover)

hello~

i hope you’re doing okay~

i am back sooner than i thought i would be, and that is nothing short of entirely thanks those of you that i heard from after my last post. i am so grateful to have gotten the honor to grow up with so many of you, and getting to connect with you through email this past week sincerely meant everything to me right now. i will leave another box below for anyone who wishes to vent a bit, needs a listening ear, needs some advice, or just wants to say hi~ i’ll certainly get back to you if you would like, and i can say that with more confidence now 🙂

tonight, i’d like to give you this quick cover of my favorite song. it’s called through the night by IU.

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4* a week with dana

hello! my name is dana, i’m a student at Brown studying Environmental Science and UX Design. but really, on a day-to-day basis i’m studying and understanding myself as a person, relative to what i’m learning. climate change is my issue and design is my medium — i get a lot of joy from talking to people at the intersections of disciplines. i’m a big broadway fan/spoken word poetry lover, but too afraid to admit it. i’m on a journey to speak to myself more gently and kindly; partly why i wrote this! 

this week saw me swinging into midterm season physically sick and emotionally exhausted, but i’ve since made it out battered but alive! thank you to izzy for letting me share something on this wonderful site i’ve long been a fan of, it’s really something special ❤

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INCONCLUSIVELY pt. 3: sunshine

“Yet, I keep on. I keep on. I push light out of every part of my body. I try and try and try to fix everything, and announcing when everything is ultimately fixed and solved. But it really, really doesn’t work like that. 

If you’re reading this, and you believe any of these things about yourself, or you relate in anyway: I understand. I really do. And it fucking sucks. And we can deal with it. 

You and I should not treat ourselves with such hostility. We are deserving of roots and forgiveness and trying again. We can not run away from ourselves. We can not scold ourselves tirelessly. We cannot keep shooting ourselves down before we even try to get up. We deserve hope and multiplicity and not being fixed all the time, but still trying for it. We deserve rest and flexibility and truth. ” (x)

This is the conclusion of inconclusively, part 2: echoes. I wrote this two– almost three– weeks ago. I gave myself the deadline to write for part 3: sunshine. It was supposed to follow a timeline, neatly wrapped up within a month: empty palaces introduced my internal conflict and the impetus to change. echoes represents the guilt and tumult and regret that came with the process. This last song is supposed to illuminate the softness and forgiveness I mentioned above. 

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INCONCLUSIVELY pt. 2: echoes

This is my second time writing this because, honestly, I’m having a hard time writing about guilt and grief without speaking in the past tense. I wish to write in the present tense because as of right now, this story is not about offering solutions or framing it as if my guilt and fear lives in the past. I have difficulty writing about pain and hurt on here because 1) it hurts, 2) I use vague language and hesitate to use specific details (rendering it all to be clichéd and nonspecific), 3) I want to help you, not drag you along with my pity-party. 

So, I present to you echoes, a song I wrote in high school, when feelings of guilt, anger, and regret first became a noticeable theme in the way I navigated myself and my relationships. 

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INCONCLUSIVELY pt. 1: empty palaces

i’ve fallen into myself in the past two years, further and further. i’ve gone quiet, grown more guarded, stopped putting my raging thoughts and developments on full display.

i first wanted to write about this within the context of my blog and how i’ve written so sparsely these past couple years, however, i came to realize upon reading this song i wrote last summer closer; this manifested from a deeper pursuit of isolation. 

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