Have you ever thought about the concept of living in a feeling?
I think about it often; I lately realized that I think that is what makes artists and creators so incredibly special. Storytellers can manipulate language in a way that encapsulates you into this feeling that they are trying to convey. Songwriters can capture whole spectrums of emotions into 3-8 minute songs, even if there aren’t any words in it. Films transport you to entire worlds, inspiring thought, emotion, and action if compelling enough.
This is all pretty obvious.
Anyway, I believe everything, and I mean everything has a feeling.
Have you ever gone out in the morning before the city has woken up? That silence, the fresh smell, the peace. It’s a little chilly, but mainly just relaxing. Your nose is cold, but not enough to be uncomfortable. You can smell the grass and the asphalt, and can hear the honking and acceleration of cars just outside the neighborhood. Visualize yourself there in that morning. That’s a feeling that I’m talking about! Not an emotion, really, but just a state of being that can be summed up by whatever thing/place/idea/moment that triggered it.
Sometimes, before I start my day, I try to determine what I want to feel like. Do I want to feel like Moonrise Kingdom today? Or do I want to feel like Sunday Candy by Donnie Trumpet and the Social Experiment? Or maybe like Will Darbyshire’s films on YouTube? Or maybe I simply want to feel golden. (I probably sound crazy, I have tried for years to communicate this idea, but I have a feeling it still isn’t working.)
Certain things/places/ideas/moments give you certain feelings- when that thing/place/idea/moment is brought up, analogous memories and situations and emotions rush into your head when it comes to mind, and you can’t help but enter that state of being.
I often think I would love to fall in love with somebody that makes me feel the way rainy days feel when I’m wrapped up in a quilt.
I’d like to have a family that makes me feel the way Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Cafe Orchestra makes me feel.
There are afternoons where I want to feel like mustard yellow, and evenings when I want to feel lavender.
I often want a dog that will make me feel like the feeling I get when I see bubbles floating through the air.
I like going on drives that make me feel like Lisztomania by Phoenix.
I love the daydreams that feel like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
Friendships that make me feel like the feeling I get when I drink iced tea out of a mason jar or see white Christmas lights on patios on summer evenings.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Sigur Rós and Tom Rosenthal and Keaton Henson lately, and they have me feeling all sorts of feelings. Primarily seaside cliffs and rainy mornings and rosy 6PMs. Certain feelings are quite special to me, such as The Winner Is by Devotchka, Go Do by Jónsi, light seeping through windows at golden hour, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, the smell of campfires, morning fog in a forest.
I’ve longed all my life to live in this certain feeling that I can’t quite pinpoint.
And I have tried so hard to figure out how to explain this concept to people, and, even after a couple of hours of writing, I still feel like I haven’t completely communicated what I want to get across.
But I’ll keep trying.