awow 3: make it count

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18, college, Personal, Projects, Short and Sweet

A Week Of Writing: Day 3

01:44 Monday, March 28

I’m noticing that it’s actually really hard to write everyday when you’re costantly on the go. I’m happy that I’m finding time for it, but I wish I could sort of sit down and give it the attention I would usually give it- but I guess that’s the beauty of all this, how different it is from the usual, I mean.

Chloe just fell asleep (I think) and given that I stayed up until 5am last night I’m having trouble going to bed, but that’s all fine with me. Today, I went on a 6-mile hike somewhere at Point Reyes where everything basically looked like an English countryside. Then, Chloe picked me up at Mill Valley and we went to her house in Tiburon where we ate dinner and watched a movie and FaceTimed our friends Praveen and Brenna all night.

My favorite part about all of this is the idea that I sort of just get to float around and see my friends’ homes and see the Bay Area in a way that is pretty much inaccessible as a tourist. Everyone’s experiences growing up is so dramatically different, yet we all ended up in the same place. Plus, Chloe and I discovered that we both use the same shampoo and conditioner, both catastrophize things in our heads, and both have stuffed animal rabbits that we grew up with.

Another fun thing is that I’ve noticed is that our dorm rooms 100% reflect our rooms back at home. Between me, Chloe, Praveen, and Brenna- we all have gotten “tours” of each others’ rooms- and our dorm rooms are basically little samples of what we grew up in.

Anyway,

Though it has been only for a brief period of time, I feel like wandering (as well as the prospect of wandering) has given me this new, sprouting sense of agency. It’s kinda stupid, but I feel a little bit more comfortable talking to adults, especially my friends’ parents. I also like being able to map out where I’ll be and when and how I plan on getting there. Also, simply taking in where I am as a newly developed slice of the world is exciting- it feels like I’m coloring in sections of a map.

Brief Thoughts:

  • Revisiting old work and old art you’ve created (in my case, old songs I’ve written) gives you a whole new appreciation for them once you’ve separated yourself from the work that went into it.
  • Nothing beats a warm shower in an actual house.
  • I’ll never be able to stress how important valuing the moment that you’re presently in is. Like, the more I think about it, the more concrete in my head it is that the only thing that exists is Now, so what are you going to do with it? It’s not even always a rejection of present responsibility or future plans, but rather, a way to frame your perspective on life in a way that puts you in control. You live Life rather than letting Life happen to you. It’s about the choices you make and how much you commit to them. If you study for an hour, you study for an hour. If you want to take a break, you intentionally take a break. Be intentional. Be where you are. Be present for the life you’re living!! Ah! Yes! Agency! Pilot your own life! Woohoo
  • Mornings are important and healing! As is sleep!
  • Surround yourself with people who: 1) excite you, invigorate you, and fill you with this sense of wonder about the world– 2) see you, like, completely see you, and make you feel like you don’t need to build walls and you don’t need to build an image and you can simply be– 3) make you feel warm and welcome– 4) support you. Your peers have more of an impact than you think. I know we shouldn’t worry about what other people think of us, but, in this case, it’s all about the energy they give you. Living/Being-a-person is 100% a collaborative effort, and the beauty lies in the interactions and relationships you experience and build with other people living/being-a-person. Value it. Make it count.

Okay. I’ve been sitting in this bathroom for 20 minutes. Time to go to bed. Goodnight πŸ™‚

Love,

Izzy

snapchat: @izzyangus for fun times

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